Friday, December 10, 2010


While waiting for our wedding photos to become available to me (aka, our disc comes in the mail), I'm going to start transitioning this blog to a Real Life blog.  Sometimes, I'll have a lot to say.  Other times, I may have nothing to say.  So, just, you know - come along for the ride with me, won't you?

To start things off, I'm going to take a prompt from Reverb10.  I am a huge fan of reflecting on things (hi, social worker here - we're all about introspection), so I love the idea of wrapping up the year with these prompts.  Since I'm behind, I'm going to do a few at once for the first few days. 

Day One - One Word - Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word.  Explain why you're choosing that word.  Now, imagine it's one year from today.  What would you like to be the word that captures 2011 for you?  (Author: Gwen Bell)

2010 in one word, huh?  Love.  We kicked off 2010 by celebrating our love.  Matt proposed to me on New Year's Eve.  We celebrated the change from 2009 to 2010, from dating to engaged, from one decade to the next.  For the next few days, we got all kinds of love from our friends and family who congratulated us and celebrated with us.  Throughout the year, we felt love from our vendors, as they worked and toiled to make our wedding day everything we'd hoped for.  We were showered with love at my bridal shower.  We were surrounded with love at our bachelor/bachelorette parties.  And we couldn't escape the love on our wedding day.  It was all love, all the time - and we felt so unbelievably blessed.  And what word do I want to be able to look back at 2011 with?  Married.  We'll have officially spent one year as a married couple.  I want to spend the year reveling in that.  I want to squeal inside every single time I say "my husband."  I want to spend 2011 being married.  Being newlyweds. 

Day Three - Moment - Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year.  Describe it in vivid details (textures, smells, voices, noises, colors).  (Author: Ali Edwards)

I am standing at the front of the church.  Looking into the eyes of the man with whom I have been in love for 5 years.  Wow.  5 years.  To my left, our Pastor; to my right, all of our closest friends and family.  Pastor Cindy's voice is soothing, calming, and talking about love and marriage.  Matt is looking back at, and chewing on his lips.  His nervous habit.  Behind him, I can see his groomsmen - his best friends and his 2 brothers.  The church is dimly lit, the late afternoon light slowly fading, creating a soft, intimate glow around everything.  I smell my perfume and Matt's cologne.  I bought him that cologne 3 years ago, and it's my favorite.  I smile every time I smell it.  Matt's eyes are big and smiling, even though he's too busy chewing his lips to be able to actually smile at me.  My heart is swollen in my chest.  There is a lump in my throat that I'm trying to swallow, because if it keeps rising, I know that I will break down and cry.  Pastor Cindy starts saying our vows, and Matt starts repeating: "I, Matthew, take you Erin..."  His voice is deep - deeper than normal, and I know it's because he's nervous and emotional.  I smile, nay, beam at him.  I peek behind him and I see his brother, Mike, with a single tear streaming down his cheek.  I smile.  I look away, take a deep breath, and slowly let it out.  The breath shudders on it's way out.  Matt finishes his vows: "...for as long as we both shall live."  Matt takes a deep breath.  The breath shudders on it's way out.  Pastor Cindy starts saying the vows for me.  I repeat after her.  I make it halfway through: "...laugh with you and cry with you..."  I can hear my voice shake.  Matt smiles, and I can feel him squeeze my hand.  My chin starts to tremble.  That lump in my throat is on the rise.  I have to look away.  I look at his brother, Mike, who now has multiple tears streaming down his cheek.  I start to repeat a line: "...loving you faithfully.." and can't get it out.  I start to cry.  I start to laugh.  Matt laughs.  Pastor Cindy laughs.  I feel her hand on my shoulder, comforting me.  I take a deep breath.  It shudders.  I have tears streaming down my cheeks.  I hear my bridesmaids sniffling.  I start to speak the next line: "...through the good times..." and can't get it out.  I gasp for air.  It sounds absurd.  I see the groomsmen shuffling around, reaching in their pockets.  I reach into my cleavage and grab the tissues I had stored.  The entire congregation laughs.  Matt laughs - I love his laugh.  It calms me.  I dab the tears and take another deep breath.  I finally finish my vows: "...for as long as we both shall live."  I laugh again.  I dab the tears.  Matt and I take each other's hands, and I look at him - my husband.  For as long as we both shall live. 

(PS - I cried as I wrote this)

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