9 years ago today, my life was railroaded. What happened that night changed me. If you'd told me then that everything would work out and that my life would move forward, I'd never have believed you. I felt totally stuck. And it scared me to death.
In the years following, the anniversary of that night was a day that I stayed in bed and wallowed. I dreaded it for days beforehand, and it made me feel anxious and sad and scared and angry.
These days, I don't even really think about it. I had no idea it was today until I woke up and logged onto facebook and saw that it was Matt's cousin's daughter's birthday. A few years ago, I discovered that her birthday is the same day. If I hadn't realized today was her birthday, I wouldn't have realized today was the anniversary.
I'm so proud of myself that I no longer dwell on it and that I've moved on to a point where I barely even think about it anymore. The girl that I was before that night will never exist again, but I'm closer to her now than I was for years after. Days like today remind me how strong I am. And that, above anything else, puts a smile on my face.