Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
It's 4 months since our wedding, and I'm still pretty pissed at my cousin. For a lot of things, but mostly for not at all acknowledging that our wedding happened. Sounds petty, doesn't it? I know. It makes me sound like huge brat. So let me explain.
I grew up kind of worshipping my cousin. She's (I think) 6 years older than me. When we were little, I seriously thought she was the coolest girl in the world. Everytime we went to visit them, I couldn't wait to see her. She had the coolest posters on her walls (Depeche Mode, hello?), she had a fish tank in her bedroom, and she read a lot and was super-smart. When she got accepted to the University of Michigan, I went against everything that my Central PA raising stood for and started cheering for the wolverines (against Penn State, I know!). Really, I just loved and adored her, and I looked up to her so much.
We've grown apart over the years. Not that we were ever close, but we at least used to talk on the phone every now and then or exchange emails. Before we started planning our wedding, I hadn't seen her since my sister's wedding, in 2008. But when Matt and I started planning our ceremony and talking about readers, my cousin was the obvious choice for me. I called and asked her to do one of our readings. She asked me if kids were invited (she has 2 boys, one who has a string of health problems). I explained that no, kids were not invited, but she would be welcome to bring the boys and we'd hire a babysitter for them. She said she'd have to talk to her husband and would let me know. A week later, she called and said that she was flattered that Matt and I wanted to include her, but she wasn't comfortable with leaving the boys behind. Ooooh-kaaaay. I mean, I thought it was a little ridiculous, but...whatever.
Fast-forward to our wedding. Her mom and dad (my aunt and uncle) came to the wedding, but neither she nor her brother came. She didn't call. She didn't text. Not a facebook message. Nothing. When Matt and I went through opening our cards from the wedding, we had a card from my aunt and uncle, signed by them, "from" my cousin and her husband and my other cousin and his wife. My cousin didn't even send a card herself.
Like I said, I know it sounds petty. But I was really hurt. I mean, I had asked her to be a part of our wedding. It wasn't just a generic invitaiton that we sent just because she's family. Not only did I want her there, but I wanted her involved. And she couldn't even acknowledge it. She still hasn't.
I need to get over it. I need to just acknowledge the fact that she wasn't there and move on with my life. I barely know my cousins anymore as it is. If I let this fester, I know myself - I'll come up with excuses to not see them anymore, and we'll end up seeing each other at funerals. I don't want that. So it's time for me to put my hurt feelings aside, swallow my pride, and just be ok with it all.
No comments:
Post a Comment