Baby Talk

Matt and I have been talking a lot about babies.  A lot about affording babies, in particular.  Cuz, you know, kids are expensive.  You have to feed them, clothe them, entertain them, give them somewhere to sleep, keep them clean...and that's just for the first few months.  Then you have to take them to day care.  And then you have to pay for school supplies.  All the while, you have to be planning for a) future kids (if desired) and b) their futues, ie, college, which, by the way, ain't gettin any cheaper.  Seriously, ya'll, kids are costly!

from google

So Matt and I have spent a lot of time in the past few months talking about how much to save, what kind of savings to have, and how much we think we're going to need to spend on stuff.  It's a really scary prospect, especially given the shaky place that Matt's job has been in for the past few years.  [About a year and a half ago, they cut their salaries by 7.5%.  A year ago, they cut their hours down to 32/week.  Some weeks, he's lucky if he even gets that many hours in.] 

This weekend, we were talking about day care.  Matt has been particularly nervous about how we're going to afford day care.  I get it - it's expensive.  Matt is worried that we won't be able to afford it, and wonders how we're going to manage without our families helping us out.  I keep reminding him that my parents had no family around and Callie and I turned out all right, and of all of our friends who don't live near their parents and make it work, and all the families who make it work with way less money than we have.  But he's still panicking.  I finally got to the bottom of his worries this weekend.

Matt was under the impression that day care costs $100 per day!  Once I recovered from my laughter (I'm sorry, but it's funny!), I told him the actual cost ($150-$250 per week), and he was pretty relieved.  He was like "Oh!  Well, we can do that!"  Yeah, buddy!

Silly husband.

30 Days of Truth - Day 28

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

I admit it.  I've got the fever.

Yep.  I've got the baby fever.  I can't help but smile when I see a baby.  I might also stare a little.  It might appear to be a little creepy, even.  But I swear, it's just cuz my womb is screaming, "Hello!  It's time!"  But my logical side is still winning the war here.  Cuz though I've got baby fever, I know that we're not quite ready.  We still want to be just married for a little while.  We have traveling we want to do before babies arrive.  So our plan is to wait until next spring.  We're planning our trip to Italy for May, and after that it's time to get down to bid'ness. 

That doesn't really answer this question though, does it?  So if we got pregnant right now, we'd be a little shocked and [I'm supposed to be honest on this thing, right?] maybe a little disappointed, but we'd also be excited.  While our preference would be to wait a year or so, fate is a fickle thing, and if it decided to give us a baby earlier than we expected, well, ok then.  I've always said, "I'm a lover not a fighter" (in the immortal words of the King, Michael Jackson), and that definitely is the case when it comes to fate. 

Frustrated

I have a question for the world: Why is it that if you are a woman of child-bearing age and newly married, everyone and their sister thinks they have a right to discuss your baby-making plans? 

(source)

It annoys the shit out of me.  I feel like pregnancy is the most intimate decision a couple makes together.  Why do people feel it's their business to know these things?  Maybe Matt and I don't want to have kids (we do).  Maybe one of us can't have kids (as far as we know, we can).  Sometimes I just want to tell people we can't, just to make them feel bad.  But I'm superstitious and don't want to jinx us.  Nor do I want to make light of that situation, because I would imagine that it's absolutely heartbreaking.  But I've been tempted just to make people feel really terrible about putting me in that position.

I kind of lost it the other day.  On facebook, of all things.  Yeah, I was that girl  *sheepishly raises hand*  I posted something about feeling pukey.  Immediately, I had comments of "Are you pregnant?" and "What are you doing in 9 months?"  I initially replied "Not popping out a kid."  But people kept pushing.  And Matt's cousin, who is always overly-involved in everything everyone in the family is doing, asked me "Why not?"  So I finally posted, "How about this?  I'll start thinking about getting pregnant when everyone stops asking me when I'm getting pregnant.  At this rate, I'll be pregnant when I'm 70.  But don't worry, I'll be sure to discuss it with all of you, openly and on facebook, before I discuss it with my husband."  Not a word since. 

It really grates my nerves that people think they can just openly discuss my marriage and sex life like that.  So I'm trying to come up with a firm, but not mean, way of saying "F off."  Thoughts?