Registry Thoughts

Apparently, there are people out there who don't like registries.  They think they are greedy.  They think that "expecting" guests to buy you gifts is bratty. 

I think that's just silly.  Look, your guests want to buy you something.  It may as well be something you've chosen to coordinate with your home decor or that you'll actually use, rather than some weird lamp from Italy that only Ralphie's dad would be proud to display.

(source)

And, as long as you're giving your guests the option to buy you things ranging in price from $5 to $500, I hardly think that that's being greedy. 

When it came time to deciding about where we would register, the answer was pretty obvious to me: Bed, Bath, and Beyond.  I had worked there all through grad school (as a Registry Consultant) and know they have a great program, plus I covet about 90% of the items in that store.  However, Matt and I have been living on our own for 7 years (give or take).  We have almost everything we need - dishes, pots, pans, kitche appliances, sheets, towels, etc.  And almost everything we have is old.  Some of it is as old as I am.  Seriously.  A lot of it is stuff that Matt inherited from his grandparents, or that I got from my step-dad when he and my mom got married.  Almost all of it is hand-me-downs from somewhere.  And it looked it.  And acted like it.  So it was time to upgrade.  And that's what we did - we went to BBBY (as my former colleagues and I liked to call it) and we upgraded.  Nicer, non-stick pots and pans, plastic utensils that won't scratch our non-stick pots, dishes that match...you get the drift.  

Since I had been a registry consultant, the consultant we met with left us to our own devices.  We were handed a shopping list (which I totally didn't need) and the scanning gun.  I expected Matt to be like most boys and totally get into the whole gun thing, but he didn't!  He used it for a bit and then handed it off to me.  Which was fine - I always loved when couples wanted me to come with them and scan things for them, and I loved it even more when I got to scan my own stuff.  (Duh!)  We spent about 2 hours there our first time, and had a blast.  We've since added or deleted things online, too (another major bonus).  Which also means that I have been stalking.  Woops!

But The Powers That Be in the wedding world tell you to have at least 2 registries.  Give your guests some variety.  Well, we already registered for everything we needed at BBBY, so other "brick-and-mortar" stores seemed silly.  I considered an Amazon.com registry, but...meh.  I couldn't get excited about it.  Then I remembered that when my sister got married, they had a honeymoon registry.  Ding ding ding!!!  It seems, however, that honeymoon registries are met with even more disdain than a traditional registry.  But here's the way Matt and I looked at it.  We're not askign people to buy us our honeymoon - that was booked and paid for already.  What we're registering for are upgrades and excursions.  We'll probably be content to just lay around the beach/pool at the resort, but that can get kind of old, even for a burned-out social worker.  So by registering for excursions, we're giving people the opportunity to make our honeymoon even more special.  I bought my sister and her hubby a golf game for their honeymoon, and they loved it!  Our thank you card included a picture of them on the golf course - it was great!  I loved knowing that they had fun and made a great memory with something that I bought for them.  So that's what I have to say to all the honeymoon registry naysayers out there!

I did some research and found that Honeyfund.com had the best options - the most variety of layouts, ability to customize or choose a predetermined registry, no fees for having the registry, and the lowest transaction fees.  Honeyfund also provides options to our guests.  They can decide how to pay (PayPal, check, or bank deposit) and they can decide how we're notified.  All in all, we thought it seemed like the best option.  We sat down and perused the excursions that Sandals Halcyon has to offer.  We also looked at the excursions that the other 2 Sandals resorts on St. Lucia offer, because of their whole "Stay at 1, Play at 3" deal.  We chose a good number of options, and started putting together our registry on Honeyfund.  Another great thing about Honeyfund is that you can break large gifts down into smaller increments.  For example, for 2 people, the Soufriere Adventure Cruise is $240.  I doubt that most of our guests would be willing to spend that much on a honeymoon tour for us, so we broke it down into 4 $60 gifts.  We did that with several of our tours (ps - Sandals excursions are kinda pricey!).  

So that's it! Our two registries!  So far we have gotten a few gifts from our Honeyfund and of course we got several gifts from our BBBY registry at the shower.  We're really pleased with the customer service at both and hope that our guests like the options we've given them. 

Love

Flower love, that is.  Before getting engaged, I didn't give much thought to flowers.  I can honestly say that at all the weddings we've been to over the years, I don't really remember anything about the flowers at most of them.  Except for my sister's.  Otherwise, I couldn't possibly tell you what flowers anyone has used in their weddings.  And yes, we have a garden at our house that has lots of flowers in it.  All of those flowers were donated by my parents from the oh-so-prolific garden.  I didn't actually choose any of them; it just happens to be whatever they could spare.  It's beautiful, but...I didn't choose it.  So when it came time to choosing flowers for the wedding, I was clueless.  I knew I wanted green and ivory/white and peacock feathers (some, not overkill).  Otherwise, uhh...yeah.  As Matt would say, "I was as confused as a baby raccoon."

So like any good little planning bride would do, I took to the internet.  Google, Weddingbee, Style Me Pretty, The Knot, Martha...all kinds of searching.  I finally noticed a trend in my searches: peacock feathers, ranunculas, non-floral, spider mums, asymmetrical.  I liked bouquets that looked a little messy.  So here are some of the first ones that I saved as inspiration:

(source)

(source)

(source)

See?  A little messy, with things kind of jutting out here and there.  I love how funky and fun they are.  I love that bottom one with all the spider mums for my bridesmaids.  But I still hadn't found quite what I was looking for.  I kept digging.  This one has mint in it!

(source)

I saw these and thought, "Ooooh...blue thistle is really cool!"

(source)

(source)

Then I saw this, and felt like we were getting closer.  Green, pops of that turquoise blue, with peacock feathers...

(unfortunately, I can no longer locate the source for this)

And then.  I found this.  And it's perfect.  I'm in love.  

(this source link is no longer working, but it was from jguessphotography.blog)

I printed several of these pictures out and brought them to our second meeting with our caterer/coordinator/florist/decorator/all-around-awesomesauce-guy, David at JDK.  He is going to almost perfectly replicate that last bouquet for me (freesia, roses (there's a type of rose that looks just like a ranunculus but it's way cheaper), blue thistle, spider mums, amaranthus, delphinium, and hypericum berries.  For the bridesmaids, he's going to use roses, spider mums, button mums, and hypericum berries.  And for my sister/MOH, she'll have a bouquet like the bridesmaids', but hers will include peacock feathers. 

I cannot wait to see these bouquets come to life.  I think they're going to look fantastic, and the green and white will look great against the girls' navy blue dresses. 

It's All Happening!

Matt and I both took the Monday after our bachelor/ette parties off. What? We're old. A big night of drinking takes a lot out of us, and it takes a bit longer to get over it than it used to!

(source)

Anywho. Since we had the day off, we thought we'd take advantage of it to get some stuff done. First stop?

(source)

Philadelphia City Hall, of course! I was so excited that Philadelphia County's Office of Marriage License (or whatever it's called) was located in City Hall. I love this building, and have always wanted an excuse to go inside. Umm...it's way cooler on the outside. Inside, it looks like an old classroom building. Kiiiiiiinda disappointing, yo. But I digress. We arrived at the office (after some confused bumbling around the building - they sure don't make it clear where you're supposed to go!) and were one of only 3 couples there. So, yay, no wait! After answering all those ridiculous questions (seriously, why do they care what my mom's occupation is?), we signed on the dotted line and had our marriage license in hand! Yippee! Now, I know what you're saying:

Say you: Wait a minute....that was August 30th! You're wedding is October 23rd. Isn't that a little early?
Say me: Yes, I suppose it is. But it's within the 60-day time frame. And this was the last day we have off until two days before the wedding. So, it was now or never.

Here's hoping our Pastor gets it in the mail right after the wedding, or we could have some issues! Unfortunately, I did not document this momentous occasion. I totally had my camera with me, too, but completely forgot to get it out and snap our photo in front of City Hall with our license. Sorry, friends!

After City Hall, we walked over to Steven Singer, a popular jewelry store in Philly. There is where Matt got my engagement ring. Have you seen that yet?

(personal photo)

Ain't she purty? He did a good job. Steven Singer has this ad campaign - "I hate Steven Singer." It's written all over their windows and there are billboards up all over the city. See?

(source)

It's because guys hate it because their women love it. And, um, yeah...I totally do. First of all, their customer service is top-notch. Second of all, we never once felt like we were trying to be up-sold. And third of all, their jewelry is freaking beautiful. When we went shopping together for my engagement ring, my sister and brother-in-law were with us. The store closed at 5. We got there at 4:40, totally thinking that we would be turned away and asked to come back. Nope. They let us in, served us beer and wine and fresh-baked cookies (no, I'm not kidding!), and continued to work with us until 6. They explained every little nuance of diamond-purchasing. They showed us probably 30 different settings and then 4 different stones until I had "designed" my top 4 choices of rings (Matt didn't want me to totally pick it, he wanted ideas and then he'd make the final decision - he picked my first choice, without knowing it).

Anyway, enough crowing about Steven Singer. We went back on Monday and, again, had phenomenal customer service. The salesperson spent a lot of time with us, explaining the difference between metals used in mens' rings and helping us find the perfect match to my engagement ring. Finally, we decided on these 2:

(mine)

(Matt's)

Mine really is a perfect match to my engagement ring. And Matt's is kind of perfect for him. It's got that very subtle metal change, but because it's not outlined or carved out, it's not really noticeable unless you really study the ring. When we were considering it against another one, I said, "It's like this one has a little secret!" Cheesy, but it's true. Unless you get close to it, and really look at, you could miss the different metal there. It's kind of like Matt - if you see him but don't know him, you get a very different picture of who he is. I love it. I love mine.

Are you sick of hearing me gush over Steven Singer yet? Cuz I'm not done. While we were there, they cleaned up my Grandmother's ring that I'll be using as my Something Old (I'll show you this in another post). AND they also took my opal ring and are resizing it so I can wear it again. YAY! I, for one, do not hate Steven Singer!

So there you have it. All in all, a very successful day. Topped off with dinner and drinks at Continental at their rooftop bar. Mmmm....perfection.

Honeymoon Decision(s)

All we knew was sun, beach, all-inclusive. Initially, those were our only requirements. Neither of us have ever been to an all-inclusive resort, and I, for one, have been dying to try it. I mean - hello? - you basically could leave your wallet at home. Sounds freakin awesome to me! Matt and I always seem to get ourselves into trouble on vacations because we forget all the other "little" things that cost money when you're on vacation and pretending that life doesn't exist outside of your vacation bubble. I mean, we pay upfront for the hotel, airfare, and car, usually, because I book "packages" through Southwest airlines or cheaptickets.com. And once I do that, it's like I seem to forget that, oh yeah, we still have to eat. And do fun things. And maybe buy Tylenol. I'm not so great at the whole money thing (which is why he manages our finances!). So, all-inclusive, where you pay for your lodging, transportation, food, drinks, and booze all at once? Yes, please!

So, we started researching all-inclusive resorts. First we talked about where we didn't want to go: Jamaica, Domincan Republic, and Mexico. Then we talked about where we did want to go. I really wanted to go somewhere I've never been - Costa Rica, Belize, Brazil...somewhere cool and exotic-sounding. I've been to several islands in the Caribbean, and love each and every one of them, but was hoping for something different for our honeymoon. I was blessed to grow up in house where travelling was important, and we were able to afford it because my mom travelled a lot for work, so we used frequent flyer miles and points to pay for a lot of things. I've been a lot of places, and I'm so, so, so lucky and grateful to be able to say that. Matt's never been, well, anywhere. His family didn't travel much growing up. In fact, I think it's safe to say that Matt's travelled more in the 5 years that we've been dating than he did his whole life. I really enjoy travelling with him and exploring with him, and look forward to being able to take him back to some of the places I've been and rediscover them with him (like Australia and Italy and Ireland...).

ANYWAY. Back to the honeymood discussions. Based on the above information, Matt kind of didn't care where we ended up, as long as it was all-inclusive and sunny and had a beach that we could relax by. A swim-up bar also wouldn't hurt. I looked at a lot of all-inclusive resorts in South America, but none of them seemed quite right. After looking at many resorts in South America and the Caribbean, and finding nothing that quite struck our fancy, we sat down again. And we figured it out - we tended to rule out a place if it had a kids' club, or lots of kid-friendly activities. [Seriously, we sound like we hate kids - no kids at the wedding, no kids on our honeymoon - but I swear, we both really do love kids!!] So, we added one more must to the list - adults-only. Well, typing that into a Google internet search gets you some interesting results! Ever heard of Hedonism resorts? Yeah, I hadn't either...and kind of wish I never had. Yish!

Finally, we settled on Sandals resorts. I had tried to stay away from this because, well, it's just so done. Everyone goes to Sandals for their honeymoons, and I desperately wanted to do something different. But Sandals is just about the only recognizable name out there that has all-inclusive, adults-only resorts! There are a few others, but they are mostly in Mexico or Jamaica, the 2 places at the top of our Do-Not-Go-To list. Oh well. So Sandals it was. But, which Sandals? Well, our DNGT list eliminated several right off the bat, and our budget cut quite a few out as well. We were basically left with Bahamas and St. Lucia. I've been to the Bahamas before, and was willing to go back, but their resorts were kind of, meh. So, St. Lucia. But there are 3 resorts on St. Lucia! Geez!! Well, one was a little high for our budget. We could've done it, but we'd be staying in the absolute lowest tier room type, and we wanted something a little more special for our honeymoon. So that left us with Regency La Toc and Halcyon Beach.

We ended up choosing Halcyon Beach. It's smaller, and only has 4 restaurants, but that's kind of what we like about it - it's small, intimate, and all the reviews I've read say it's the most laid-back of the three. And if you know us at all, you know that we're about as laid-back as they come. We booked a middle-tier room, so that we'd have some extra money for excursions and other stuff. We are SO excited! We both updated our background on our work computers to show a picture of the resort. It's so beautiful.

The bonus about being on St. Lucia is that we get to stay at one, but use any of the amenities at the other 2 resorts. So if we get bored with our restaurants, we can hop a (free!) shuttle and head over to one of the others to enjoy their restaurants. We can also use the golf course at Regency (this would cost extra - greens fees are free, but we'd have to rent clubs and they require caddies).

Excursions are a bit pricey, but we set up a honeymoon registry so that our guests can "gift" us the excursions. We talked about it before we set it up, and decided that even if no one buys us anything off of it, we'd be ok with hanging out at the 3 resorts and just lounging around for the time that we're there. We didn't want to set ourselves up for disappointment, because some people seem to have issues with honeymoon registries - like we're asking for people to pay for our honeymoon. And that's not the case at all. Our honeymoon is booked and (almost) paid for - we're just asking people to help make our honeymoon that much more special! We had a blast picking out the excursions to include on our registry and are looking forward to taking some special trips on our special trip!

So that's it - our honeymoon decision and how we came to it. Want some eye candy to be jealous of? I thought you might. [All photos from Sandals website]

Pretty, isn't it?

I'm pretty sure this is the room level we booked.

Mario's - an Italian restaurant

The Pier Restaurant - supposedly this has the best Caribbean food on the island

I want to be in one of these. NOW.

Shoes

I am so. not. a shoe girl. Never have been. I'm not one of these women who walks around noticing other women's shoes. I don't enjoy shopping for shoes. I've never understood women who own hundreds of pairs of shoes. I don't understand the need to own shoes in several different styles and colors (except for flip-flops, of which I own about 10 pairs, because in the summer, you're supposed to wear bright fun colors and have bright fun shoes to match - duh). And I definitely don't nod in agreement when other women say, "I had such a horrible day, so I went out and bought myself these really cute new shoes!" What?! If I have a bad day, I buy myself a big brownie or some new music on iTunes.

Never. Under. Stoodit.

And then, I got this sparkly little ring on my finger. Suddenly, I'm Carrie-Freakin-Bradshaw. I'm shopping online for shoes every day. I'm stopping back at DSW every other week or so. I'm stopping in the Nine West outlet in the train station every couple of days. What have I become?!

I'm completely indecisive when it comes to my shoes for the wedding. I don't know what I want. I don't necessarily want anything super wedding-y. I like the recent trend of wearing colored shoes, especially blue shoes for your "something blue," but I already know what my something blue will be. Plus, I don't really think I can pull off the colored shoe thing. That seems to be more for women who actually care about shoes on a regular basis. I'm pretty sure I want to get two different pairs for the day - more formal ones for the ceremony, and then something less formal for the reception. But even that has me all confuddled. Do I want to get something casual but cute for the reception, or just trust my old comfy Old Navy flip-flops?

I've never been so concerned or confused about shoes! It's so not me! In the meantime, here's some shoe porn for you to take a look at:

So far, these are my favorite contenders. I like the little toe loop. They're slightly reminiscent of flip-flops, so they fit me and they kind of fit my dress. But they're 3 1/8" high, which is a little higher than what I'm used to wearing. And I certainly don't want to be stumbling down the aisle!

(source)

I also really like these. The strap across the toes is a pretty close match to the beadwork on my dress. And I like the ankle strap. I always feel like those make people's feet look very...delicate. Or something.

(source)

So, umm...these have blinged-out heels. Seriously! Click on the source link and take a closer look. How cool is that!?

(source)

I like these for the reception. They're really cute, and they're super-comfortable. I tried on a champagne-colored pair at DSW. But they might be a little too cute and frilly - they're not really me.

(source)

I've posted these before. I'm totally in love with them. If I could find them onsale, I would snap them up in a second for the reception. Unfortunately, though, they're $275, which is just absurd for a little pair of rubber flip-flops. But for real...they are so awesome.

(source)

And then, of course, there's my old loves. My trusty Old Navy flip-flops. I'm strongly considering just slipping these on for the reception. I know they'll fit, I know they're comfortable, and this pair is a little bit more exciting than my regular old white ones - these are called "Pearl" (just like my dress!), and they have a bit of a shimmer to them. Maybe that's a sign...

(source)

So those are the ones at the top of my list for now. If I were made of money, I'd get the Valentino Bow Thongs for the entire day. But I'm not, so I won't. Oh well... I'm sure I'll find something that I'll totally love.

The Girls

My poor bridesmaids. They all keep asking me what I'm thinking of for their dresses, and all I keep giving them is, "Long, navy or peacock blue...I have some ideas." I'm so vague, so indecisive, ha ha. So I thought I'd throw them a bone and give them a look at what some of my ideas are.

I defiitely want them in long. It's a church wedding, it's in the fall...it just seems appropriate for them to be in long dresses. And while I like the idea of letting each girl choose a style of dress that suits her, I also like the look in pictures when everyone is wearing the same. So, all the girls will be in the same dress. Ideally, I would love to find a great dress that is available in the peacock blue color, but I'm finding that not a lot of designers make that color, so it may have to be navy.

I'm torn between two different schools of thought (again): having the girls in dresses similar to mine so that it looks cohesive, or having them in dresses different from mine so that I stand out. I equally like both ideas, so I really don't know what direction to go in. It will probably just come down to whatever the girls find that they (or the majority of them) like, that's what we'll go with. But, that doesn't mean I'm not having fun in the meantime looking at different dresses and getting ideas!!

So here are some of the ones I like if I go with dresses similar in style to mine:

And, if I go with something different:

I know, the last one is drastically different, but I totally love it.

Ok, girls, the floor is open...

Dress!

I found my dress. THE dress. It seriously is absolutely perfect. Exactly what I was looking for. It was, of course, the first dress I tried on - for the day, for the year, for the shopping, for the wedding. First dress, ever. So, with 2 other appointments scheduled for the day, I felt like I shouldn't just stop there! So, like a fool, ignoring the sage wisdom of my bridesmaid, Abriel, who also is a bridal consultant, I did not stick with that, but went to my 2 other appointments and thoroughly confused myself. To the point where I actually put a deposit down on another dress! Can you believe it?! After I got home from the shopping trip, even though I really did love the other dress, I kept going back to the first one in my mind. It was all I thought about! When I closed my eyes and pictured myself in a wedding dress, I pictured that one, not the one I bought! Ugh! So, I confessed my bridal sin to my mother and she said, "Ok, let's cancel the order then!" And we did, and I called the first store and told them to hold onto that dress!

It really, really is perfect. I could not have designed a better dress for my wedding day. I am SO excited! In searching for a picture of it online (because it's no longer on the designer's website - it's a discontinued style, and I'm actually purchasing the store sample), I found another "sample" for sale in a size 6, which is bound to fit me MUCH better than the one at the store where I now have a $400 deposit holding it. My mom convinced me that it's better to get the one that is closer to my size and have it taken out the little tiny bit that it may need to be taken out, rather than get the one that is about 3 sizes too big and they would need to basically reconstruct the top to make it fit my chest. Soooo...we're ordering the size 6 with 2-day shipping so that it'll be there by Friday when I go back to my mom's to try it on. If it's terribly mis-sized, we still have the one at the store to fall back on. Oy! Such a mess!! But I'm sure it'll all work out in the end.

The actual brick-and-mortar store where I found the dress is Cocoa Couture. We're ordering it from My Dream Dress, which is basically a warehouse of "oops, I bought it and then didn't use it" dresses. The price difference between the 2 is pretty much nonexistent, so neither one ends up being a better "investment" - unless we end up saving significant amounts on alterations with the size 6. So, I guess we'll see! Nonetheless, the folks at Cocoa Couture were awesome. I absolutely loved my consultant (though I don't remember her name - I'm sorry!).

I'm also going to meet with my coordinator at JDK again on Saturday to talk about flowers. It's the one part of the wedding planning that Matt is soooo not interested in, so I'm going with my mom. Cuz she's good at flowers. And cuz she's awesome.