Last time, I revealed the non-religious reading that Matt chose for our ceremony. That left us to figure out what Bible verses we wanted to include. As I mentioned, we had to have one reading from the Bible, plus the Gospel. We looked to a lot of places for inspiration, including the booklet we were given by the church and the internet.We wanted to find a passage that really spoke to us and that spoke to not only our relationship with each other, but our relationship with God. As I've mentioned, neither one of us could really be considered terribly religious, but we do have beliefs and live our lives according to those. We wanted whatever readings we chose to reflect those beliefs. I was pretty adamant that I did not want any passage that had to do with the wife submitting to the husband, which ruled out quite a few "suggested" verses. To me, that is not a marriage. I also didn't really want to use anything that talked about how the couple is no longer two people - I don't like that it vaguely suggests of losing your identity because of getting married. I also didn't want to use Corinthians. Not that I don't think it's a lovely verse - I do. But it's been used at almost every wedding I've been to, and, well...we like to be different. I might've mentioned that before, too. So we ended up choosing Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will
keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be
overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not
quickly broken.
We like how it spoke of being together and being able to support and protect one another. That's what our relationship is to us - a mutual supporting of each other - helping each other through difficult times and being happy for each other in good times. This is what we hope our marriage will continue to be - a partnership.For the Gospel, we chose 1 John 4:7-12.Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone
who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does
not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among
us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through
him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent
his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so
loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but
if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
We chose this because it speaks of sacrifice and compromise in the name if love. I'm sure that we all know all too well that sometimes you have to sacrifice something in order to show your partner how much you care for them - whether it it's something as simple as giving up a tv show you like or moving across the country to be together. Matt and I do feel like we have made some small sacrifices for each other, but all have been worth it to keep our relationship - our love - strong. Choosing our reading was not as difficult as we thought it would be. We're really happy with what we've chosen, and think that they all reflect who we are as a couple.
When we first met with our Pastor, we had absolutely no idea what our ceremony would look like. All we knew was we wanted it to be short and to the point. We definitely did not want a whole service with communion and all that stuff. With neither of us being extremely religious, we didn't really feel like a full ceremony would be right. Nor would it feel like us. We mentioned our feelings to our Pastor, and she said that there are certain things that we have to have in the ceremony because it's in the church, but there definitely were things that we could cut out. She gave us a general outline of what the ceremony would include. She also gave us a booklet that included several options for each part of the ceremony - from the greeting to the dismissal, we could customize the wedding to be how we wanted. But, of course, the real customization comes from the reading. And Matt and I worked really hard trying to decide what to include.
Pastor Cindy said that we had to have one Bible verse plus the Gospel. We could add an additional reading if we wanted to. We both decided that we wanted to - again, with us not being religious, we could use the additional reading to make the ceremony really ours. So I scoured the internet and went through song lyrics and poems and book passages. Most of my inspiration came from indiebride. Seriously, if you're looking for a non-traditional reading, you MUST check out that list. They have put together 18 pages of options. I made up a list of my favorite 7 or 8, and then left the final decision up to Matt. I am thrilled with the one he ended up choosing. It's "Union," by Robert Fulghum, and I think it speaks perfectly to our relationship:You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks - all those sentences that began with “When we’re married” and continued with “I will and you will and we will”- those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe”- and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “ You know all those things we’ve promised and hoped and dreamed- well, I meant it all, every word.” Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another- acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this- is my husband, this- is my wife.
I absolutely love it. And what's even better is that Matt loves it. He was really excited when he read it, and thought it was perfect for us. We've asked my brother-in-law to do this reading for us. While he's only been my brother-in-law for 2 years, he's been a part of my family for what feels like forever. It was only natural to include him in our ceremony in some way.
Stay tuned for our other readings...
