Grandma's Ring

Remember I mentioned I was using my Grandmother's ring on our wedding day as my Something Old? I promised I'd get back to tell you more about it. So here I am.

My Grandma and Grandpa (my mom's parents) lived in Ohio and Michigan my whole life. Before that, they both actually were born and grew up in Philadelphia. In fact, my Grandpa used to take the same train from the same train station that I did when I was living in Chestnut Hill, because they're house was just around the corner! One weekend my mom came to visit me and we spent the day driving around Chestnut Hill, Mt. Airy, and Northeast Philly, looking at all the places where my grandparents lived. It was pretty cool to see all of that.

Anyway. As I said, they lived in Ohio and Michigan for my entire life. We spent every Thanksgiving and Christmas with them. Those road trips are some of my best memories - me, Mom, Dad, and my sister, driving along the Turnpike in whatever incarnation of the VW Bus we had at the time (seriously...my family has owned Volkswagon vans since before I was born), singing songs, playing games, reading books, and torturing each other. Well, that last one might have been more me and my sister than my parents, but...you know. I used to love driving out there because it meant we were going to get to hang out with our grandparents and cousins. I miss those road trips.

Grandma passed away when I was in high school. She had Alzheimer's, and was pretty out of it by the end. Because of how far away they lived, and then because of the Alzheimer's, I really never felt like I knew her very well. Once she died, we started hearing all these great stories about her. Listening to my mom and uncles talk about her, I realized that Grandma was a social worker without being a Social Worker. I wish that I'd known her better, but, well, that's life. Grandpa is still living, at the retirement community where he'd moved Grandma when she started getting sick. He's 95 and still goes to the gym a few times a week. He's healthy as a horse, and has so many incredible stories to tell. Grandpa is a pretty cool dude.

When Grandpa and Grandma got engaged, they didn't have a lot of money. So the ring he bought her was pretty simple. A few years later, they upgraded. My sister got married first, so she got the first ring. I got the second engagement ring. When my mom gave it to me, it looked as old as it was. The diamond was cloudy, and the gold was flat. But I took it with me last week when Matt and I went to Steven Singer to shop for wedding bands, and they cleaned it for me.

The cool part of this (aside from the obvious sentimental factor) is that it's engraved. It's kind of hard to read, but it says F.H.H. to C.D.H. 7-13-40. The band also has the same engraving on it, but because of where they got bridged together, you can't read most of it.


And here's my silly attempt at a fancy photo shoot.

As you can see, I wasn't very impressed with myself and gave up after one photo. Hee hee.

I'm really touched to have this for our wedding day. Matt and I talked about re-setting the diamond some time in the future - maybe for our 5th or 10th Anniversary.

*all personal photos

It's All Happening!

Matt and I both took the Monday after our bachelor/ette parties off. What? We're old. A big night of drinking takes a lot out of us, and it takes a bit longer to get over it than it used to!

(source)

Anywho. Since we had the day off, we thought we'd take advantage of it to get some stuff done. First stop?

(source)

Philadelphia City Hall, of course! I was so excited that Philadelphia County's Office of Marriage License (or whatever it's called) was located in City Hall. I love this building, and have always wanted an excuse to go inside. Umm...it's way cooler on the outside. Inside, it looks like an old classroom building. Kiiiiiiinda disappointing, yo. But I digress. We arrived at the office (after some confused bumbling around the building - they sure don't make it clear where you're supposed to go!) and were one of only 3 couples there. So, yay, no wait! After answering all those ridiculous questions (seriously, why do they care what my mom's occupation is?), we signed on the dotted line and had our marriage license in hand! Yippee! Now, I know what you're saying:

Say you: Wait a minute....that was August 30th! You're wedding is October 23rd. Isn't that a little early?
Say me: Yes, I suppose it is. But it's within the 60-day time frame. And this was the last day we have off until two days before the wedding. So, it was now or never.

Here's hoping our Pastor gets it in the mail right after the wedding, or we could have some issues! Unfortunately, I did not document this momentous occasion. I totally had my camera with me, too, but completely forgot to get it out and snap our photo in front of City Hall with our license. Sorry, friends!

After City Hall, we walked over to Steven Singer, a popular jewelry store in Philly. There is where Matt got my engagement ring. Have you seen that yet?

(personal photo)

Ain't she purty? He did a good job. Steven Singer has this ad campaign - "I hate Steven Singer." It's written all over their windows and there are billboards up all over the city. See?

(source)

It's because guys hate it because their women love it. And, um, yeah...I totally do. First of all, their customer service is top-notch. Second of all, we never once felt like we were trying to be up-sold. And third of all, their jewelry is freaking beautiful. When we went shopping together for my engagement ring, my sister and brother-in-law were with us. The store closed at 5. We got there at 4:40, totally thinking that we would be turned away and asked to come back. Nope. They let us in, served us beer and wine and fresh-baked cookies (no, I'm not kidding!), and continued to work with us until 6. They explained every little nuance of diamond-purchasing. They showed us probably 30 different settings and then 4 different stones until I had "designed" my top 4 choices of rings (Matt didn't want me to totally pick it, he wanted ideas and then he'd make the final decision - he picked my first choice, without knowing it).

Anyway, enough crowing about Steven Singer. We went back on Monday and, again, had phenomenal customer service. The salesperson spent a lot of time with us, explaining the difference between metals used in mens' rings and helping us find the perfect match to my engagement ring. Finally, we decided on these 2:

(mine)

(Matt's)

Mine really is a perfect match to my engagement ring. And Matt's is kind of perfect for him. It's got that very subtle metal change, but because it's not outlined or carved out, it's not really noticeable unless you really study the ring. When we were considering it against another one, I said, "It's like this one has a little secret!" Cheesy, but it's true. Unless you get close to it, and really look at, you could miss the different metal there. It's kind of like Matt - if you see him but don't know him, you get a very different picture of who he is. I love it. I love mine.

Are you sick of hearing me gush over Steven Singer yet? Cuz I'm not done. While we were there, they cleaned up my Grandmother's ring that I'll be using as my Something Old (I'll show you this in another post). AND they also took my opal ring and are resizing it so I can wear it again. YAY! I, for one, do not hate Steven Singer!

So there you have it. All in all, a very successful day. Topped off with dinner and drinks at Continental at their rooftop bar. Mmmm....perfection.

Bachelorette Recaps

We survived! My bachelorette party this weekend was SO MUCH FUN and I'm so glad that most of my girls and some other close friends were able to come and celebrate with me! We had a blast. My sister/MOH Callie and BM Steph did a fantastic job putting the whole thing together.

We started off just hanging out at my house. Well, some of us. Others met us at the hotel in Center City Philly. But MOH Callie, BM Steph, and my college roommate Jen met at my house where we had some strawberry sangria (made by moi), some mojitos (made by Callie), and lots of yummy food (also made by Callie). Steph also brought a hoagie pita pizza (an italian hoagie inside a giant pita shaped/cut like a big pizza - it was awesome). So we feasted and sipped our cocktails before we headed into the city to meet up with the rest of the gang.

Once we got to our hotel (the fabulous Embassy Suites in Philly), we met BM Nicole, BM Tina, and other college roommate Denise. We proceeded to check into our rooms and get ready to hit the city! Again, we shared some more sangria, pita pizza, and lots of laughs to kick off the night!

After everyone was thoroughly prettified (not like that's hard for my girls!), we headed out to dinner. Steph had made reservations at El Vez, but somehow we thought it was El Rey (both Mexican restaurants, both by the same restauranteur). We walked into El Rey and then Steph realized it was the wrong place. And since it was time for our reservation, Steph called El Vez while we grabbed a couple of cabs. Or one. A van. With no air conditioning. That was a steamy 9 blocks.

But we made it to El Vez and our table was still waiting for us, so we took our seat and started looking over the menu. YUM-O. El Vez is owned by Steven Starr, who has several restaurants in the Philly area. I have eaten at and loved several of them, and after Saturday night, I can safely say the same for El Vez. We got a couple pitchers of their Pink Cadillac margarita, which had tequila and cranberry juice and some other yummyness. We also got some of their hand-smashed guacamole. It was incredible. For dinner, I ordered the chipotle chicken tacos, and they were deeee-lish! Everyone else seemed to thoroughly enjoy their meals, as once the food was in front of us, we didn't do a whole lot of talking! It was a great meal to start off the night.




After we were sufficiently stuffed, we walked over to Jolly's Dueling Piano Bar. Dueling piano bars are one of my favorite things in the whole wide world. Matt and I have been to several around the country (Arizona, Myrtle Beach, etc) and we always have a fantastic time. Jolly's was pretty great, too, but WAY smaller than I expected it to be! My brother-in-law had arranged for us to have an open bar, which enabled us to basically reserve a whole "section" at the bar, rather than just a booth near the pianos. At first, we were a little disapointed, but I think it actually ended up being better - we had plenty of room to dance and do shots...


and sing like fools...


and everything else that happens at piano bars. No worries, though, we did get up to the piano and onto the piano and...well, we had a BLAST!

Once we had finished our open bar time, we headed back into the city. The girls tried to "surprise" me and take me to a male strip joint, but I foiled their plan and put the kybash on that. You know how I felt about Matt going to a strip club, so I certainly didn't want to go to one myself. Plus, I wanted to dance! I didn't want to sit there and watch guys gyrate around me! So I made the cabs turn around (might have been a little bratty!) and take us back to Noche - bar and restuarat by day, dance club by night. And dance we did!

Here, towards the end of the night, is me with sister/MOH Callie. She's the bestest.
All in all, a GREAT time was had. And, for those of you following, Matt did not go a strip club. They had planned to take him, but he told them he wasn't interested. And he also passed out at 12:30. Silly boy. I love him.

It's Bachelorette Time, Baby!!

Today is my bachelorette party!! I'm so excited. My MOH/sister Callie and BM Steph have arranged quite a day/night for me, it seems. I've been left pretty much in the dark, so I can't wait to see exactly what they have in store. Better yet, though, I can't wait to see the pretty faces of all my favorite girls!! Tune in later for some recaps and - maybe - some pictures!

Ceremony Readings Continued...

Last time, I revealed the non-religious reading that Matt chose for our ceremony. That left us to figure out what Bible verses we wanted to include. As I mentioned, we had to have one reading from the Bible, plus the Gospel. We looked to a lot of places for inspiration, including the booklet we were given by the church and the internet.

We wanted to find a passage that really spoke to us and that spoke to not only our relationship with each other, but our relationship with God. As I've mentioned, neither one of us could really be considered terribly religious, but we do have beliefs and live our lives according to those. We wanted whatever readings we chose to reflect those beliefs. I was pretty adamant that I did not want any passage that had to do with the wife submitting to the husband, which ruled out quite a few "suggested" verses. To me, that is not a marriage. I also didn't really want to use anything that talked about how the couple is no longer two people - I don't like that it vaguely suggests of losing your identity because of getting married. I also didn't want to use Corinthians. Not that I don't think it's a lovely verse - I do. But it's been used at almost every wedding I've been to, and, well...we like to be different. I might've mentioned that before, too.

So we ended up choosing Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will
keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be
overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not
quickly broken.

We like how it spoke of being together and being able to support and protect one another. That's what our relationship is to us - a mutual supporting of each other - helping each other through difficult times and being happy for each other in good times. This is what we hope our marriage will continue to be - a partnership.

For the Gospel, we chose 1 John 4:7-12.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone
who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does
not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among
us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through
him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent
his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so
loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but
if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

We chose this because it speaks of sacrifice and compromise in the name if love. I'm sure that we all know all too well that sometimes you have to sacrifice something in order to show your partner how much you care for them - whether it it's something as simple as giving up a tv show you like or moving across the country to be together. Matt and I do feel like we have made some small sacrifices for each other, but all have been worth it to keep our relationship - our love - strong.

Choosing our reading was not as difficult as we thought it would be. We're really happy with what we've chosen, and think that they all reflect who we are as a couple.

Ceremony Readings

When we first met with our Pastor, we had absolutely no idea what our ceremony would look like. All we knew was we wanted it to be short and to the point. We definitely did not want a whole service with communion and all that stuff. With neither of us being extremely religious, we didn't really feel like a full ceremony would be right. Nor would it feel like us. We mentioned our feelings to our Pastor, and she said that there are certain things that we have to have in the ceremony because it's in the church, but there definitely were things that we could cut out. She gave us a general outline of what the ceremony would include. She also gave us a booklet that included several options for each part of the ceremony - from the greeting to the dismissal, we could customize the wedding to be how we wanted. But, of course, the real customization comes from the reading. And Matt and I worked really hard trying to decide what to include.

Pastor Cindy said that we had to have one Bible verse plus the Gospel. We could add an additional reading if we wanted to. We both decided that we wanted to - again, with us not being religious, we could use the additional reading to make the ceremony really ours. So I scoured the internet and went through song lyrics and poems and book passages. Most of my inspiration came from indiebride. Seriously, if you're looking for a non-traditional reading, you MUST check out that list. They have put together 18 pages of options. I made up a list of my favorite 7 or 8, and then left the final decision up to Matt. I am thrilled with the one he ended up choosing. It's "Union," by Robert Fulghum, and I think it speaks perfectly to our relationship:

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks - all those sentences that began with “When we’re married” and continued with “I will and you will and we will”- those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe”- and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “ You know all those things we’ve promised and hoped and dreamed- well, I meant it all, every word.” Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another- acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this- is my husband, this- is my wife.

I absolutely love it. And what's even better is that Matt loves it. He was really excited when he read it, and thought it was perfect for us. We've asked my brother-in-law to do this reading for us. While he's only been my brother-in-law for 2 years, he's been a part of my family for what feels like forever. It was only natural to include him in our ceremony in some way.

Stay tuned for our other readings...

The S Word

I have a confession to make. I am having major anxiety about the bachelor party. Like, major anxiety. I really don't want the boys to take Matt to a strip club. I seriously get physically ill at the thought of it. I've kind of voiced this to him, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't know the extent of my feelings about it. I've basically just told him that I would prefer that he doesn't go to one, but know that my opinion basically doesn't count. But the more I think about it, and the faster the weekend approaches (next weekend), the more freaked out I get about it.

We've been watching back episodes of the Sopranos recently, and you know how Tony does all of his business at the Bada Bing? I hate those episodes. I get mad when the topless ladies are walking around. I actually have a fairly strong physical reaction. It's weird. And last night, we were watching I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, and the whole thing (at least what I saw) was centered around the main character taking his friend out for his bachelor party. They went to a strip club a few towns over because the clubs where the live had instituted a "No-Touch Policy," and apparently that was unacceptable for this bachelor party. At least, for the main character it was unacceptable. Anyway, they got to the part where the guys were in the strip club, and I got so upset about it, that I just picked up my phone and went to bed. Just left the room and went to sleep. This morning, when Matt asked me why I went to bed without saying goodnight, I told him that I didn't like watching the guys hanging out at a strip club. I couldn't bring myself to tell him about my extreme physicial reaction to it.

I'm confused about this on 2 levels. 1, because I don't really know why I'm so averse to him going to a strip club in the first place, and 2, because I don't get why I can't just tell him how I really feel about it. I have a fairly good guess as to why I'm so averse to it. I have never really liked the idea of strip clubs, but I've never been the type of girl who was like, "Ew, that's so gross...boys shouldn't go there." I've always just sort of thought, "Well, boys will be boys, and it's kind of a right of passage, per se, so...whatever." But in the past few years, the idea has increasingly freaked me out.

Remember when I talked about that time in our relationship where "...things happened and I moved out?" Yeah, well, the thing that happened was an ex-girlfriend who reappeared and got into Matt's head. Big time. She got in there enough to make him question his feelings for me and whether or not our relationship was really what he wanted. That's as far she got - his head - but it was enough to do some pretty serious damage. After we worked through all of that and all of those issues, we had a lot of talks about trust and cheating and all the stuff that comes with a situation like that. His biggest concern was that I'd never be able to fully trust him again. And I'll admit, at first, I wasn't sure I'd be able to either. Especially because, at first, I just kept mentally picturing him with this girl, and it made me absolutely sick to my stomach. But now, I swear, I swear, I do trust him. It's the guys he'll be with and the girls at the club that I don't trust. Lately, when I'm obsessing over this (and I have been), if I close my eyes to try to clear my head, I see a stripper grinding away on his lap, and it turns my stomach. While I haven't told him that I don't want him going to a club at all, I have told him that I don't want him to get a lap dance. His answer to me was, "Well what I am supposed to do if the guys buy me one?" I've been just kind of shrugging and mumbling, begrudgingly, "Yeah, I get it." But I don't. Why is it so hard for a guy to just say, "No, really guys, I'm not interested."

Probably for the same reason it's so hard for me to tell him how I really feel about all of this. He doesn't want to look like he's "whipped," and I don't want to look like the "whipper." I had a friend a few years ago who forbade her fiance to go to a strip club, and at the time I was like, "Ugh, that's so ridiculous. I'm never gonna be That Girl." And yet...here I am. I'm That Girl. Or at least, I'm thinking like That Girl. And I certainly don't want to give the appearance that I don't trust him, because, as I said, I really really do. It's just that the thought of 1/2-naked women parading, dancing, shimmying, slithering around him...it just disgusts me.

Am I being crazy? Someone please tell me I'm being crazy. Or tell me that I have every right to request that he skip the strip club without seeming controlling and psychotic.