Thursday, July 7, 2011

No, I'm Not Pregnant

Just fat.  But thanks for pointing out my gut. 

I've stopped making excuses to people.  Arguing with them.  I've just started responding that way when they look at my stomach and ask if I'm pregnant.  "Nope, just fat.  But thanks for pointing it out!" 

from google
Look, I am well aware of the fact that I have gained weight.  And that the bulk of that weight is sitting right at my gut.  I am aware that wearing babydoll-style shirts and flouncy maxi dresses also contributes to the appearance of being pregnant.  But I like that style shirt, and I've been wearing flouncy maxi dresses since before Nicole Richie made them cool again.  They are comfortable.  Especially in 90+-degree heat.  And especially now, when I am feeling too self-conscious about my gut to wear the more form-fitting clothes I have worn in the past. 

But I'm not pregnant.  And even if I am, it's not any of your business.  Until I decide to make it your business.  Which I haven't.  Cuz I'm not.

So let's stop talking about how I "look" pregnant.  Cuz all you're really saying is, "Wow, you have a stomach that's pushed out further than normal and we're taking notice!"  Which in turn means, "Hey, Fatty, nice gut."  It really doesn't make me feel good.

I have never been one to believe in "dieting."  It has always been easy for me to alter the way I eat (portion control, healthier foods, etc) and drop weight without much other effort.  Obviously, my body is older and my hormones are different and things have changed.  I need to put more effort into it.  So I've been working out.  I just started the 30 Day Shred, and am hoping that that gets me results.  But I'm only 2 days in.  So right now, I still have a gut and flabby butt and floppy arms.  Can we not discuss it and analyze it to death?   Seriously, I'm sitting at work right now, and I feel like I could cry.  I just walked away from a discussion between 3 nurses about how they all think I'm pregnant.  After a few "Nope, I'm just fat!" comments from me, with a hope that they'd get the point that they're hurting my feelings, I had to walk away.  How do you respond to that? 

Since when is it appropriate or socially acceptable to so openly discuss a woman's body?  Or a woman's choice to bear (or not bear) children?  One of the nurses actually had the audacity to ask me if I would be upset if I was pregnant.  After telling me that I was pregnant and me denying that "fact," she had the nerve to say to me, "But you wouldn't be upset if you were pregnant, would you?"  Like that would be the worst thing in the world.  Maybe I would!  Maybe I don't want to be pregnant.  But how is that any of her business?  Since when do I need to discuss my desire/ability/readiness to have children with her?

I'm absolutely appalled by the audacity of these women.  I would never dream of asking a woman if she was pregnant if I was absolutely 100% sure that she was.  And if I was so rude as to ask that of a woman who then tells me she's not pregnant, I would certainly not continue discussing the matter and insisting that she was!  Who does that?  In what way is that ok?

I am already terribly self-conscious about the weight I've gained.  Having people discuss it doesn't help.  I wish it were as happy an occasion as me being pregnant.  But unfortunately, it's just as simple as me gaining weight.  So let's move on, please.  You are not helping my already delfated self image. 


  1. I love Stephanie Tanner!! And seriously how rude of those women! WTH!?

  2. How rude indeed! Aren't nurses supposed to have good bedside manner? That is absolutely ridiculous! I’m so sorry you’re feeling down. I have a 5 month old and am still wearing some of my maternity shirts if that makes you feel any better. I still look 6 months pregnant! I gotta get to work!!!

  3. argh. those women sound like bitches!!! I'm so sorry that you have to deal with that :(

  4. I'm so sorry you had to deal with such rude people. These women sound really thoughtless. My friend was just explaining to me how she went through something similar and was responding to them with the same remark as you did. For her, it shut them up right away.

    Ultimately, you should never have to explain yourself or your choices and you don't owe anyone anything! Please don't let these people get to you and know that you're beautiful inside and out.

  5. People have no class. I consider it rude to make a comment about anyone's appearance, whether they're pregnant or not. Ignore them! Sorry you had to deal with them.